There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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