Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
