I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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