Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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