Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
