the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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