his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
