oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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