check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
