You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
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because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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