it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize