im six kinds of drunk right now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
