i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
