found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
