he thought i was a dude.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
