my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
