Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
