why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
