I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
