i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
birth control should be required to get into college
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
