I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Are we still banned from the library?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
