We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
