Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
