I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
