Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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