I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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