Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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