no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize