Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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