idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
