if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In America we eat man semen.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize