i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
