She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
