Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
