if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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