At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
