Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
