and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
