you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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