my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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