have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
