What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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