She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
