Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
