You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
