It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
