I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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