So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
