Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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