OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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