i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
