Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
