Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize