Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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