Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now

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(325): View more from Texas

Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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(941): View more from Florida

CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

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(970): View more from Colorado

There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement

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(226): View more from Ontario

it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was

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