ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
