Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
