Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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