I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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