I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's the barista slut.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
