i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
