We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
