She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
