she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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