uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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