everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Couch. On fire.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach